Holding Out for a Zero by Heather Wardell
Title: Holding Out for a Zero
Author: Heather Wardell
Publication: December 13th, 2016
Publisher: --
Read: December 7th, 2016
Summary:
"I'm doing the right thing, not feeding myself. It's the only thing I can do, so I will do it. Gloria can somehow have the energy I don't take in, and it will help her stay alive." Twenty years ago, fourteen-year-old Valerie rushed off for lunch with her boyfriend instead of properly putting away a packet of balloons, and her little brother choked to death on his third birthday. In response, Valerie locked down every aspect of her life so she could never lose control like that again, and she's still doing that today. So when her sister Gloria is found comatose after an apparently random attack, Valerie is desperate to do something, anything, to save her only remaining sibling. But as a financial controller for a "nothing bigger than a size six" fashion designer, she has no medical background and no idea of how to help. But she simply must find a way. Since Gloria has always wanted to be a size zero, Valerie hits on food as the answer: she will eat less, lose the weight Gloria now can't, and somehow save her sister that way. But when "eating less" turns into a frantic starvation diet to reach size zero before Gloria dies, will Valerie's self control save her sister or destroy her own life?
My Review:
Lou's mind stars: ✭✭✭✭✭
There are books that are really difficult to read and this one is one of those. It talks about forgiving yourself, but also about a real struggle in today's society: anorexia.
Following the descent into hell of the main character in a false hope of saving her injured sister is painful. What is even more is that she shows no sign of stopping. She's far too gone in her path of deep control over her life.
This book is troubling me because it is everything I am fighting against put into one deep and painful story. In the end, there is hope but I am left with this strange feeling I cannot shake off. Talking about the ending, don't expect a happy ending in the 'they get married and have lots of kids' kind of ending, but one that is realistic. It's not happy, it's not sad, it just is.
Painful story but enlightening.
*book received from the author via Netgalley for an honest review*
